Calum Rodger is a poet, researcher, tutor and events organiser based in Glasgow, Scotland, working in performance, print and digital media.
Calum’s work combines experimental, traditional and spoken word forms to explore themes of Scottish culture and identity, hedonism, art, philosophy, social networking and Lidl (his favourite supermarket), often with a dose of irreverent humour.
Occasional poems is a collection of his poems from 2012-2019.
'For years Rodger has been one of the best live performers on the scene, his words as rigorous as they are joyful.' - Laura Waddell, The Scotsman
Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit
(Thank Fuck)
Damn you oranges y u so hard to open?
I have found myself flighty with fruit before
But I am anguishing in promises of citrus
Pathetic flakes of peel are falling to the floor
Is it even litter if it’s biodegradable?
Hmmm whatever I don’t care anymore
But curse these peals of uncivil laughter
Reverberating through my every pore!
My vitamin-deficient heart is breaking
O give me a satsuma, or something with a core
Orange, you’ve put me through the juicer
You’re dead to me. I’m going to the store
And if it’s me you want to find
You will know me by the trail of rind.
Sonnet for my Favourite Supermarket
’his poem starts with an apostrophe.
LIDL you are wonderful! I <3 you
Your logo my constant yellow and blue
And I love your tomatoes, pesto, and coffee.
O your ranges, so neat and untyrannical
You agree brand selection is no genuine choice
You wear Saltire badges even though you are Deutsch
And your checkout staff so admirably mechanical!
I only visit when it’s dark and the moon is out
I prepare myself by feeding my head on violins
O you glow so much! You are a happy large machine.
Meanwhile the universe is expansive and full of doubt
You are its opposite. If only you sold skins!
I will go to you tonight and I will fill my heart with beans.